It's YOUR fault!
I’m not proud to report this incident. Let’s be clear about that. My 4 yr old, Ava, is precocious. One of those little charmers who’s really a cosmic message not to have any more because the mixing of your genes is now a slippery slope, dear. She hit me with a another of her signature whoppers recently. What’s astounding is she taught ME something in the process. Kills me to admit it, but that kid’s teaching me a lot. The primary lesson being parenting is not for sissies.
We had to leave a party a little early. Miss Ava was not pleased. She quibbled as I ushered her to the car. Once in, she announced in a frustrated tone that she’s just a spoiled brat. That’s not a term we use. I was shocked. Not liking labels, I insisted she was not a brat, just that her choices weren’t positive. She was adamant that indeed she was a brat and went on to add, & here’s where I knew I was in trouble, “and it’s YOUR fault, Mom!”
Okay…..breathe, count to 10, think, breathe…so why is it MY fault, pray tell? “You made me leave when I didn’t want to. Then I was fussy & acted like a spoiled brat. So it’s your fault for making me leave, Mom.” She was lethally earnest. This was all very simple in her estimation. I informed her that being a brat is ALWAYS a choice. I offered other responses that were better. She was skeptical. We’ll keep working on that, of course. It's key she learn to own her choices each stage of her life.
What shocks me is how clear she was on the facts (as she saw them). One thing about 4 yr olds is they do not ever want to be wrong. That’s not the worst thing because, at 4, you’re just on the road to maturing. It hit me how her actions were the perfect illustration of immaturity. It took some thinking for her to blame me. But she was willing to do it in order to feel no guilt about being self-centered. How many times have I seen that in adults? In myself? I was reminded afresh that when I have to do mental gymnastics to “prove” how right I am, it’s likely I’m the one wrong. I always say if I could tattoo something on every high school senior it’d be “If everyone else seems completely stupid, you can be certain you’ve got the problem.” I live by that, my friends. I learned it the hard way. Apparently my daughter has inherited more than my fine hair….huge sigh…. This is gonna be a long ride, isn’t it?
Comments
I am dealing with a very strong-willed smart little girl too and she's 6. Yes my friend - buckle up, I think it is going to be a very long and bumpy ride with our daughters. ~Missy
Posted by: Missy | June 16, 2006 12:35 PM