MomMe TV Blog :: "Tara Says"

It's the opposites in life that make it interesting, sure. Like how I love the black, orange & purple fun of Halloween yet cringe at the onslaught of crummy candy I never let my kids eat (unless they've begged particularly well & I'm very worn out by the register, but that's another blog...). I still love Halloween & it's goofy fun, but as the years wear on I wonder if I'm becoming a real fuddy-duddy. My kids are given candy by the school, the local malls, the pumpkin festival, yadda, yadda. Then there's trick or treating. Does it never end???!!! Here we are a nation of folks struggling with weight & since candy is cheap, everyone is slingin' it at our kiddos. I would mount a full-scale retaliatory attack, but for a shameful little secret in my closet.

They say the first step is to admit the problem, so I'm going to take a risk here & go for it. I have a Halloween addiction. I've tried to kick it for years with no success. It holds me in it's sticky-sweet sway every fall. Once I see the hallowed (in an evil way) bags filled with the yellow, orange & white triangles, I start to sweat. The monkey on my back starts going nuts. And I tell myself this year will be different....

But it never is. Every year I eat (by myself) an entire bag of candy corn. It's Halloween Crack, I tell ya. You think you can just have a few & quit...but oh sister....the wretched lies we tell ourselves... I know people who live for the Harvest Mix and I enjoy the pumpkins alright. God help me if they ever offer to let us mainline the candy corn, tho. I'll be crawling on the street for it. It's insane. I'm too smart for this. I know better. It's going straight to my thighs. I know this, but I can't stop. Heaven help me, I can't stop!!!!

So, it's from this place of guilt & my own young memories of waundering the streets under a sweaty princess mask in an itchy dress thrilling to the satisfying clunk in my orange, plastic bucket that I buckle under the conviction to fight the candy monsters of Halloween. The best I can think to do (& I've done it for years, mind you) is sort through the night after they go to bed & throw out the worst stuff. Then reduce their larders as far as I dare each night thereafter. I wish I knew a better way to not create such waste, but hey, what am I gonna do...give it to the hungry to create further health issues? That'd be way too much guilt to bear. And they might stop making candy corn...now that's a true Halloween nightmare!

A safe & happy Harvest & Halloween season to you all!

PS Christie from Seattle had a great idea I thought I'd pass on....it's possible to send candy shipments to the soldiers, just check with your local base or you can use this excellent website as a starting point to figure how to support our troops...it's a great site I just learned about. http://www4.army.mil/outreach/support/

Posted by Sassypants at 03:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Let's get this straight. Nothing is lower than victimizing children. Nothing.

It's unspeakably tragic that the kids involved with the CO, WI or PA school shootings were hurt, saw horrific things, had to make wrenching choices, or were forced to flee the face of blatant evil. No child should ever have to endure such horror. It grieves me to think of the years of fear & sorrow now unleashed in the minds of every kid in those schools. I try not to shield my girls from understanding the world can be a painful place. No, I don't want them to learn particularly gruesome or graphic details, but I do fear they'll be prey to any manipulator if they grow up thinking the world is fairy tale nice. It's not. As parents, we want to empower kids to deal with dangerous situations yet not steal too much of their innocence. Here are some of the great ideas I learned from my girlfriends. Feel free to post your own below. We'll learn a lot from circulating helpful info. Maybe we can protect another child from permanent harm.

Tracie shared that she's taught her girls if they ever need rescue & she's not there, always go to a Mommy & ask for help. I loved that explanation because it makes sense to little minds. A Mommy is a pretty safe bet if you're in a precarious position. I made sure my eldest could recite her phone number as soon as possible so if anyone ever took her, she'd know how to call or tell someone else (like a Mommy or a policeman). Never assume kids know who IS safe, be clear about it.

Cheryl says explain to your daughters if anyone tells them not to tell you about things because they'll hurt you or your family that they're lying. She explained that because they're liars, "You should tell me as soon as you can because I WILL protect you if I know." Several of my dearest friends are incest survivors, so I know this is critical to explain to our kiddos. We need to discredit predators BEFORE they can strike. A child needs to understand if someone threatens you not to tell, it's a sure sign THEY will get in trouble & not you. Kids need to be clear we'd not be mad at THEM because they're used to getting in trouble if something naughty happens.

My girls understand if someone tries to get them to go with them, it means that person intends to steal them. Even my 4 yr old is cautious that if anyone tries to take her, she's to yell "You're not my Mom! Stop trying to steal me!" or "Someone please help me! I'm being stolen from my Mom!" These type comments draw immediate attention. Susan used the Safe Side video developed by the creator of Baby Einstein & John Walsh to discuss lots of scenarios with her kids. (https://www.thesafeside.com/) Forewarned is forearemed. There are ways to explain things that don't scare children, but give them the tools to address when bad things happen.

I've tried to gently explain sometimes bad things will happen in life. I've begun to teach them that we have to steel ourselves in such moments & try to keep making smart choices. I think of those poor little Amish boys who probably feel guilty for leaving the girls inside, but they need to know they're not to blame for the choices of a madman. The children who endured the Holocaust never understood it was coming or what it was during the process. The ones who survived to have quality lives afterwards were the group who understood evil possibly could happen, but that if we make the best choices we can, we can find love & hope again. In this era we do little to equip our children with the emotional musculature to survive the unexpected hardships life might serve. Perhaps due to our own fears, we avoid teaching crisis skills. We don't want to scare them, but they need to know life is not always easy or fair. They need the protection such understanding affords them. Most adults are very good people who only want to help children, but some are not nice.

It's not fair that evil exists. It's not fair we must equip our kids to deal with it when they deserve a time of innocence. Yet, we do not do everything in life because it's easy or fair. As Moms, we do what needs to be done to best support our children growing up healthy & hopeful. There's still so much good in the world we can show our children. Good parenting is that fine balance of equipping them to savor the good & survive the bad. Can I get an amen, sisters?

Posted by Sassypants at 12:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)