MomMe TV Blog :: "Tara Says"

I begin my Gratitude List with our family, friends, health, safe community, good schools, etc. My material goods are further down. A housefire can take them & I'd rebuild (well, except for losing the pictures, for some reason that'd just kill me). But If we lost our health or there was terrible strife in our family, it'd be truly devastating. As parents, we're to teach our kids our values through lessons, discussion, & actions. Kids who think it's essential to get a BMW for their 16th or can't live without their cell or Gameboy are missing the mark. We've got to make sure our children value what matters most. Strong morals & values do not just happen, even in good families. Learning to live with gratefulness & purpose are disciplines we work on most of our lives. It's never too early to start.

The critical element of gratefulness is being genuinely present to notice the details. Our lives are filled with the thrum of our activities & commitments, but are we truly aware of the good while it's happening? Are we missing the simple joys, mundane acts of goodness, the love being daily offered to us? It's easy to stop paying attention to what truly matters. Living with purpose is focusing on what we value most & not just mindlessly going along. It requires a bit of effort, thought & determination. Yet a life lived thoughtfully renders us personally fulfilled & enabled to share the best of who we are. Andy Wickstrand, environmental advocate, said it this way, "I believe when we live without intention something integral is vacant from our souls and indeed all of humanity misses out." It's so true! We've got to get beyond letting others or even the rush of life tell us what to do. We can take back our destinies at any moment & our children need to know that.

Continue reading "Must Be Present to Win" »

Posted by Sassypants at 09:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Thanksgiving is comin' soon. Oh, the food! The fall-themed decorations! Families gathering! We Moms have so much to do! Has stopping a moment to think of all we have to be grateful for made the List? Have we told our loved ones we're thankful for them? Have we challenged them to consider what they're grateful for in their own lives? It's easy to give lip service to the idea we should be thankful. I mean, we all think that's a great idea. But kids learn little from our intentions & so much from our actions.

I'm culling a list of ideas for helping kids consider & express their gratitude. It feels great for me to think of all the things I'm thankful for in this chapter of my life. Freshens my perspective & energizes me. I want that for my children as well. Being grateful gives us a worldview that nourishes & propels us through the days. That's why I try to create or leverage every teachable moment I can. Please feel free to share/post any ideas you have also!

Taking the time to write or draw the things we're thankful for is a great exercise for kids. The process of compiling the list challenges us to realize things we take for granted. My girls enjoy making cards for family & friends just to say "I love you!". Some kids would rather call or write a note or even play piano on the phone for widowed Aunt Sally in Okoboji. There are lots of creative ways to think of people we love & do for them. Some years we go around the dinner table & list what we're grateful for. This is neat, but I advise the girls ahead of time to think of things or we get comments that copy the person before us. It's critical each child think about her own life. One thing we're doing this year is to talk about how having enough to eat is a big reason to be grateful. We're having discussions about how families live in the 3rd world & about local food banks. We've donated dinners & the girls carry the food in after we gather it. On one hand, I'm grateful my girls never worry about where the next meal is coming from, yet on the other I'm concerned they don't reallize how great it is that Daddy & Mommy work so hard to make this life they enjoy.

Continue reading "Happy Thanksigivin', Pilgrim" »

Posted by Sassypants at 06:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

They say the best gift you can give your kids is to love their mother/father. When you're married, there are days when this is the hardest thing of all to do, sister. Since I want my daughters to see a loving, healthy marriage firsthand, I work hard to protect our relationship. The vast majority of the time I adore, respect & love my husband. He's the most amazing man I ever knew. That said, there are days when it becomes crystal clear to me how important it is to own my stuff in life. I've noticed the moment I begin blaming him, overtly or unconsciously, things get tough (and vice versa). When I own my own choices & balance that with respecting he does not have to meet my every expectation, we do great. And vice versa!

Continue reading "The Best Gift is Ownership" »

Posted by Sassypants at 01:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

It's the opposites in life that make it interesting, sure. Like how I love the black, orange & purple fun of Halloween yet cringe at the onslaught of crummy candy I never let my kids eat (unless they've begged particularly well & I'm very worn out by the register, but that's another blog...). I still love Halloween & it's goofy fun, but as the years wear on I wonder if I'm becoming a real fuddy-duddy. My kids are given candy by the school, the local malls, the pumpkin festival, yadda, yadda. Then there's trick or treating. Does it never end???!!! Here we are a nation of folks struggling with weight & since candy is cheap, everyone is slingin' it at our kiddos. I would mount a full-scale retaliatory attack, but for a shameful little secret in my closet.

They say the first step is to admit the problem, so I'm going to take a risk here & go for it. I have a Halloween addiction. I've tried to kick it for years with no success. It holds me in it's sticky-sweet sway every fall. Once I see the hallowed (in an evil way) bags filled with the yellow, orange & white triangles, I start to sweat. The monkey on my back starts going nuts. And I tell myself this year will be different....

Continue reading "Halloween Crack" »

Posted by Sassypants at 03:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Let's get this straight. Nothing is lower than victimizing children. Nothing.

It's unspeakably tragic that the kids involved with the CO, WI or PA school shootings were hurt, saw horrific things, had to make wrenching choices, or were forced to flee the face of blatant evil. No child should ever have to endure such horror. It grieves me to think of the years of fear & sorrow now unleashed in the minds of every kid in those schools. I try not to shield my girls from understanding the world can be a painful place. No, I don't want them to learn particularly gruesome or graphic details, but I do fear they'll be prey to any manipulator if they grow up thinking the world is fairy tale nice. It's not. As parents, we want to empower kids to deal with dangerous situations yet not steal too much of their innocence. Here are some of the great ideas I learned from my girlfriends. Feel free to post your own below. We'll learn a lot from circulating helpful info. Maybe we can protect another child from permanent harm.

Tracie shared that she's taught her girls if they ever need rescue & she's not there, always go to a Mommy & ask for help. I loved that explanation because it makes sense to little minds. A Mommy is a pretty safe bet if you're in a precarious position. I made sure my eldest could recite her phone number as soon as possible so if anyone ever took her, she'd know how to call or tell someone else (like a Mommy or a policeman). Never assume kids know who IS safe, be clear about it.

Continue reading "Mean People Stink" »

Posted by Sassypants at 12:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)