MomMe TV Blog :: "Tara Says"

They say the best gift you can give your kids is to love their mother/father. When you're married, there are days when this is the hardest thing of all to do, sister. Since I want my daughters to see a loving, healthy marriage firsthand, I work hard to protect our relationship. The vast majority of the time I adore, respect & love my husband. He's the most amazing man I ever knew. That said, there are days when it becomes crystal clear to me how important it is to own my stuff in life. I've noticed the moment I begin blaming him, overtly or unconsciously, things get tough (and vice versa). When I own my own choices & balance that with respecting he does not have to meet my every expectation, we do great. And vice versa!

Continue reading "The Best Gift is Ownership" »

Posted by Sassypants at 01:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

It's been reported that at Nicole Kidman's wedding to Keith Urban, he sang "Making Memories of Us". On a whim, I got the cd to see what Nicole sees in this guy. And oh my...what a man! Listen to the chorus & picture her hearing her groom sing, "And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you, And I'll earn your trust making memories of us" He goes on to declare, "I wanna stand out in a crowd for you; A man among men. I wanna make your world better than it's ever been" I confess I sobbed. Because I'm married to a man among men, it hit me how very much I want that for my daughters. I want them to find a guy who's the whole package. My own path to Mr. Right was crooked. I want better for them. I want them to choose someone who's the whole package & also for them to be a whole package themselves. It's my great hope my girls never settle.

We have a good marriage & seeing a healthy example is key. But there are things I want to teach my girls. I've begun to explain some kids act nice because they want you to like them & when you do, they act mean. If that happens, just leave. There are plenty of truly nice kids out there. Never do I want them to know the humiliation or grief that comes from sacrificing your dignity for someone who doesn't deserve it. Never do I want them to think that they have to settle for someone who isn't healthy, tender or devoted. Never do I want them to find themselves broken & ashamed of what their life has become. That's partly why we discuss the importance of manners & respect now that they're young. I believe if I instill a strong understanding of self-respect & fortify it with a clear expectation of such from others, then they can avoid traps I did not. I've even begun to work on communicating the idea that we try to help people, but in the end, people have to want to be helped. Sometimes you have to move on to others who appreciate your help & give you some back. I'm not sure if they get it overall, but hey, in case co-dependency is hereditary....

Continue reading "Makin' Memories of Us" »

Posted by Sassypants at 07:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

I never dreamed I’d be divorced. But I was. Darn near killed me. Now, I’m married to Mr. Wonderful & livin’ the Dream. It’s the best hard job I ever had. Yet I’m always studying happy marriages for insights. I focus on the long-term tenaciously.

I’ve noticed lately couples who forget how their lives were before they found each other are hosed. When you have someone who just seems to complete you, you get used to that level of love & validation. It’s easy to forget how lonely you were before there was someone to go to foreign films with you; someone who also loves Joan Osborne & the Sunday New York Times. It’s easy to forget you no longer feel like the world’s biggest dork at social events. It’s easy to forget. But a good marriage is a discipline.

Kinda like Greek myths where the gods punish those who forget to be grateful. (Some marriages ought to end. If he’s cruel to you or your kids, pack now, girl!) The problem is taking for granted a very good thing. I’m talking wasting good love, wasting perfectly good life, wasting…man, wasting! We have a finite slice of time on earth. Why, oh why, would we not be grateful daily for the good in our lives? Why would we model any less for our children? Are we complete & total idiots?

There really are good, long marriages out there. We could learn a lot if we chose. Love that stays fresh thrives when we don’t forget where we came from & who we were before. Keep it real, so they say. Right on. Keep it real & keep it, I say.

Posted by Sassypants at 03:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)